A christmas tale
by lesleytonyb
Summary: This one shot is a gift for the Behemoth over on AO3. Its a bit of a silly story but I hope you enjoy it. As usual there's some steamy kakavege sex in there as well. Let me know what you think xlxl


A Christmas tale.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

Outside the house, was a different affair

As a shining, blue Ki ball. Flew into the air

It moved at high speed, heading straight for its prey

But this speedy Saiyan, jumped out of the way

The fire ball continued, too quick for our eyes

And crashed into an object, which fell fast from the skies.

"I must have told you fifty times already Kakarot, I didn't hit anything. You must be hallucinating from all the blows to the head I've given you today"

"You did, Veg, I swear, I saw it fall" Kakarot insisted as he carried on searching through the snow-covered forest, Vegeta in tow, growing ever more annoyed.

They came across a small clearing amongst the trees. The snow lay thick upon the undisturbed branches surrounding it, making everything sparkle as though a child had sprinkled glitter all around. It would have been beautiful if not for the wreckage underneath the branches.

"There, see I told you. Ohno…this is real bad" Goku exclaimed and raised his hands to his face in shock when he saw that Vegeta had in fact hit someone.

"What is it clown? It can't be that bad" Vegeta huffed, pushing his other half aside to see for himself

"Shit!" Was all he could manage to say when he observed the gleaming, red sleigh, complete with nine large reindeer all staring at him accusingly. A few meters away, lay an unmoving heap in the snow. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was. Vegeta plodded over, swearing under his breath, to check the big guy's pulse.

"Who is that?" asked Goku, peering over his partners shoulder

"You're fucking kidding me, right? Who the hell do you think would be flying around in a sleigh with a bunch of stinking reindeer on Christmas eve, you moron?" This comment earned him even more disapproving glances from the reindeer, not that he cared. Goku stood thinking for a few moments

"OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED SANTA" he finally yelped in a panic

"He's not dead, stop flapping, he's just unconscious. Do we have any senzu beans at home?"

"Nope, and none are ready either. This is bad Veg, let's take him to Bulma she will know what to do. Bulma always knows what to do"

Vegeta screwed his nose up realising that Goku seemed to have more faith in his ex-wife than in him. but he let it slide for now because he had more important things to worry about. Also, because he had no idea what to do about this ludicrous situation. But he wouldn't admit that to his boyfriend.

Goku placed a hand tentatively on Santa's chest and held the other out to Vegeta, who took it without hesitation.

Bulma was just settling down in bed to sleep, exhausted after a busy day preparing. Everything was ready for the morning. Trunks and Bra were sleeping soundly, the dinner was ready to be cooked, every gift perfectly wrapped and lovingly decorated with a silk ribbon, all the guest rooms prepared. She had done all she could do for tonight, with any luck tomorrow would run without a hitch, though she highly doubted it.

She had invited everyone for Christmas dinner, as she did every year. She didn't see why Goku and Vegeta getting together should ruin her yuletide traditions. But she was very aware that things could get awkward with Chi-Chi, who was still a little bitter about their relationship. Bulma planned to keep Chi-Chi busy as much as possible and just pray that everyone gets on.

Her heart skipped a beat and she let out a high-pitched shriek as the two very Saiyan's she was thinking about were suddenly in front of her.

"Hey Bulma, we have a big problem" Goku explained

"CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME WARNING WHEN YOU ARE JUST GONNA APEAR IN MY ROOM" she shouted "I have a phone you know, you scared me half to death". Goku totally ignored her angry outburst and pointed to the red and white mound on the floor.

"Look what Vegeta done!"

"I did not do this" Vegeta denied angrily

"You did too, you shot him with a Ki ball."

"No Kakarot, I shot YOU. If you didn't run out of the way like a coward this would never have happened."

"OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED SANTA" Bulma gasped upon realising what the thing laying unceremoniously on her bedroom carpet was.

"He's not dead, for fucks sake, will everyone stop saying that" Vegeta paced the bedroom floor muttering frustrated, to himself.

"Can you fix him, Bulma?" Goku asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I can fix him, but he won't be better till the morning" Sha said whilst examining the man on the floor.

"Morning? We don't have till morning. its Christmas eve. Who will deliver all the presents?" Goku looked worried.

"Well…you two will have to do it" Bulma pointed at them both.

"Fuck that, I'm not delivering anything, I'm going home. Come on Kakarot" He held his hand out to his partner, who was about to take it when Bulma stopped him.

"Fine, go home then, but remember Vegeta it will be you who explains to Trunks and Bra why Santa didn't bring them any toys". Vegeta's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Woman, you are pure evil" he snarled.

"Thank you, now off you pop, you two have a very busy night ahead of you."

Goku I.T'd his unhappy Saiyan back to the scene of the accident. The reindeer were still there waiting, growing more and more impatient as the time ticked on.

"It's ok guys, me and Vegeta here are gonna deliver the parcels with you" Goku assured the flustered animals, as he moved down the line reading their name tags and patting them each on the head.

"They all have names Veg. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and of course Rudolph. Come and stroke them they are real cute" He beckoned Vegeta over.

Vegeta smiled fondly at his partner, when he wasn't looking of course, the animals had all crowded around him and were all nuzzling at his clothes. Goku seemed to have this effect on every living thing, he was just so likeable. Vegeta stepped forward and eighteen eyes snapped up to stare threateningly at him, seemed he wasn't quite as likeable as his lover.

"Errrr…. I don't think they like me Hun, you pet them. I'll see if I can get this stupid sleigh working"

Vegeta sat on the sleigh looking for some kind of wheel, he found nothing. Both the wide seat and the floor were perfectly smooth, no controls, no wheel, nothing. How the fuck did this thing work? He noticed a small glove box and yanked it open. Inside was just a red Christmas hat, Vegeta tutted impatiently, he really wanted to get this ridiculous scenario over and done with.

"Kakarot, I can't figure this dammed piece of shit out. Can you instant transmit us?"

"We would never make it round the whole world in time. What's that?" Goku asked walking over and pointing to the red fluffy thing in Vegeta's hands.

"Just a dumb hat" the prince snapped and threw the hat at Goku, who rubbed the soft material between his fingers then reached out to put the hat on Vegeta.

"Kakarot, stop dicking around, I'm busy here, and besides I don't want to wear that stupid thing."

"Oh, please veeeg. You'll look super-hot in it" Goku begged in a cute voice, pouting his lips. Vegeta narrowed his eyes, he couldn't say no when Goku begged like this. The guy only had to flutter those long eyelashes and Vegeta became putty in his hands.

"Oh whatever" He huffed, much to Goku's delight.

The red velvet hat slipped easily over Vegeta's hair and all nine-reindeer stood immediately to attention. Goku jumped into the seat next to the smaller Saiyan.

"Look, Vegeta, it's the hat, see. Tell them to go, quick"

Vegeta was sceptical, but he followed his excited boyfriend's instructions regardless

"Go" he said quietly. They felt a jolt and a gust of wind, then before they could even blink they were on the snow-covered roof of a small house. Vegeta had a bag in his hand, that wasn't there before, labelled 'toys'. He knew what he had to do.

The night carried on in this way, time seemed to stand still as the reindeer jolted them from house to house, city to city delivering parcels to every girl and boy. It had only been a little over three hours and they were more than half way through already.

Vegeta outright refused to climb down the chimneys, he was a prince for crying out loud, so he had Goku instant transmit him in and out of each house.

The next house was easily recognisable to both men. The small domed roof sparkling with frost.

"Hey, this is my old house. They must be Gotens gifts" Goku smiled and pointed to the sack of toys

"Can I deliver his presents, Veg?"

"Sure, Kakarot" Vegeta handed the bag over and waited outside the child's bedroom as Goku placed the bag of surprises at the foot of his bed..

"What are you doing in my house?" a curt voice asked from behind him. Vegeta spun around to see Chi-Chi in her nighty, her black hair dishevelled and a confused expression on her pretty face.

"Chi-Chi, err, it's kind of a long story" Vegeta explained the situation. Chi-Chi probably wouldn't have believed this crazy tale, but she knew Vegeta well enough to know he wouldn't wear that totally ridiculous hat without a very good reason. Goku soon joined them and scratched the back of his head nervously, it always felt strange to him having Vegeta and Chi-Chi in the same room.

"Hi, Chi" he greeted her

"Hello, Goku. I left a glass of brandy out for Santa but I guess I'll have to pour another since there are two Santa's tonight" She smiled at them and tried her best to make it look genuine. It was still hard for her to see the love of her life with someone else, Vegeta of all people, but she could see how happy they both were together, so she always tried her best to handle it like a lady.

"Are you and the boys coming to Bulma's tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure Goku, this is all still really hard for me, ya know" she admitted with a sigh.

"Please Chi, I don't wanna spend Christmas without them" she looked between her ex-husband and his new boyfriend.

"I will stay home, if that will make things easier for you Chi-Chi" Vegeta offered. Her struggled expression softened.

"Really, you'd do that for me?" she asked surprised.

"Of course," Vegeta agreed easily, he didn't need to tell her that he was actually doing it for Kakarot, did he?

"Thank you Vegeta, that's very thoughtful of you, but no. I'm sure I will be fine. Let's all have Christmas together."

The smile on Goku's face was enough to brighten anyone's day. He left his old home with a spring in his step, looking forward to the following day.

Eventually they delivered their very last gift, to a little girl named Elysian, and both Saiyan's let out a sigh of relief as they relaxed on her roof.

"We did it" Goku said proudly.

"mmm-hmm and still with two hours to spare before sunrise, how do you suppose we should pass the time?" Vegeta had a mischievous smile on his face, Goku knew what he was after.

"Really Veg? you want I should take you home first?"

Vegeta shook his head and yanked Goku forward to kiss him, Goku was all too happy to comply.

Vegeta had an almost magical effect on the younger Saiyan, he lit up each and every one of his cells with electricity until he was a burning inferno of lust and need. It was only a few moments before the prince's clothes were torn from his body. He shuddered as his bare back came into contact with the cold snow.

"Veg?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you keep the hat on?"

Vegeta couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped his lips

"Sure, I can, idiot, although I don't understaaaaaa…" His sentence quickly turned to a moan as Goku flipped him over with ease and buried his face roughly in Vegeta's ass, licking and sucking at his entrance, making him pant and groan louder and louder. Goku knew there was no point being gentle with his lover. Vegeta didn't enjoy being made love to, he liked to get fucked, hard. And that is exactly what Goku planned to do to him now.

His tongue worked the tight ring of muscles, he could feel Vegeta slowly relaxing. It wouldn't be long at all before he was begging.

Goku worked a finger inside his partner's body, enticing a beautiful sound from his perfect lips. Goku lived for these moments, the only time Vegeta didn't wear his trademark scowl was when he was getting destroyed.

"Kakarot, please" he whispered. It was barely loud enough for Goku to hear, but he heard it, and he wasn't about to make Vegeta ask twice.

Goku laid down and lifted Vegeta on top of him, he didn't want to leave his lovers back against the cold roof for too long.

"Ride me Veg?" he requested. Vegeta nodded and wasted no time impaling himself on Goku's hard member in one swift movement. His shouts echoed through the darkened sky.

He stayed still for a short while, allowing himself to adjust to the intrusion. Goku stared, mouth open at Vegeta, every time he saw his boyfriend pull that flawless face, he fell in love with him all over again. He never knew such perfection existed until he saw Vegeta's sex face, it would put an angel to shame.

Then Vegeta started to move. It was a monumental compliment to Vegeta's body that it could pull Goku's attention from his face, but it did. His small and compact, yet perfectly in proportion frame bobbed up and down slowly. His muscles rippling and hardening as he moved harder and faster, slamming himself onto Goku with all the strength he could muster. His eyes closed and he bit his lower lip hard.

"I'm close" He mumbled, Goku knew this was his que to take over. Vegeta could never keep the rhythm while he was climaxing.

Goku grabbed his small hips and bounced him up and down as hard as he could. A couple of seconds was all it took. Vegeta hissed through his teeth, his hot breath causing a cloud of steam in the cold, early morning air. Goku soon followed suit and emptied himself inside Vegeta.

They both lay still, panting hard and staring into each other's eyes

"So" Goku finally broke the silence "Did I just fuck Santa?"

"Fuck you, Kakarot" Vegeta spat, straightening his hat, his frown firmly back on his face.

"Let's get these stupid Reindeer back to Bulma's and try to get a couple of hours' sleep"

As he said that the bright sun burst over the horizon, causing both guys to shield their eyes

"Hmm, merry Christmas, Veg."

"Yeah, merry Christmas, Kakarot."

Our tale ends in a warm cosy bed, where two tired Sayan's rest

Goku snores quietly, Vegeta's head upon his chest

Outside the window the snow laid thick, and white

Twinkling and shimmering, in the morning sunlight

'Twas Christmas morning, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The end.

merry Christmas the behemoth, I hope you enjoyed it!


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